Joy Comes In the Morning

If you know anything about the Old Testament, then you've probably heard the infamous story about a young boy named David + how he defeated Goliath with a small rock + a slingshot. What started as a simple supply run for his brothers ended with David defeating a giant that even the bravest soldiers ran from.

But maybe some of you don't know that the story about David doesn't end there. For those of you that love scandalous plots, the story of David is definitely for you.

After defeating Goliath; naturally he was considered a war hero. From there he built up a whole empire, + through his faith, God gave him everything he could have ever wanted. He even became the second ever king of Israel.

So, of course, like most men, they have everything they could want but still find a way to screw it up. As if his wife + hundreds of concubines weren't enough - he decided he wanted someone else's wife.

LOL, classic man-move, right?

He saw her bathing one afternoon + decided that he had to have her.

But of course, mistakes have consequences, especially when condoms weren't around yet.

Scandalous so far, right?

Instead of just coming clean + admitting what he did, he did what most men do - made it worse by trying to cover it up.

David was a master of politics, war, + strategy. Like any king with an enemy he needed to get rid of, he began devising a plan containing all three elements.

Step 1? Strategy. The woman whom he impregnated was named Bathsheba. (Funny name considering the circumstance, right?) Her husband, Uriah, was a warrior in David's army. David tried to convince Uriah to take some time off + come home to sleep with his wife. He did this so that it would look as though Bathsheba's baby was Uriah's. Uriah (clearly buggin' because why wouldn't he want to go home when the boss said he could?) refused + didn't want to step away from his civic duty as a soldier.

Step 2? Politics. As a king, David was obsessed with his image. The thought of humiliation he would face if he came public with his mistakes drove him to use his political status as a weapon. He needed to find a way to get Uriah out of the picture to keep up his "kingly" image.

Step 3? War. David ordered for Uriah to be sent to the front lines of battle + for his fellow soldiers to abandon him.

David succeeded at killing Uriah but at what cost? He murdered someone, committed adultery, + as a punishment for his sins, their baby died. Someone who was once a faithful follower was lost in his ego.

David immediately took Bathsheba to be his wife after her husband's death. She later brought herself to forgive David + had more children with him.

Now, of course, had any of us crossed the street + saw David today knowing what we know - I'm sure we might have some choice words for him. But I guess that's the beauty of being human. We're not expected to understand God's motives + why He forgives so much, even for the most horrendous things.

Just because we may not be murderers + or adulterers, we certainly have all done something to someone else in our lifetimes that is deemed "unforgivable" by humanistic standards.

I guess that's what getting baptized is all about. An understanding between you + God that you both came to about your life. It's about accepting that you know He's been at work in your life through your struggles, but now you're officially giving them over to Him + trying to do your best from here on out. (While still having fun, of course!)

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So what does King David have to do with me + my story? King David has written a few books in the Old Testament, but his most notable work is the book of Psalms. One of his Psalms was the inspiration behind my baptism last year.

Psalm 30 is titled "He Healed Me." It's a beautiful Psalm about David longing for God's love in a time of struggle. Verse 5 of this Psalm says:

"I've learned that his anger lasts for a moment, but his loving favor lasts a lifetime! We may weep through the night, but at daybreak, it will turn into shouts of ecstatic joy."

This is just one variation of the verse. Most people read the NKJ or the NIV versions of the Bible, but I have come to love The Passion Translation. It's an excellent variation for millennials with simple + relatable language used.

My journey through faith has taught me that everyone has their path to individualistic spiritual growth. There are certain obstacles - both internal + external - that we must deal with in our lives. You may be empathetic towards someone else's situation in life based on personal experiences you've had yourself, but no two people have the same journey, feelings + or experiences.

I truly believe that God only gives us what we can handle. Granted, the pain threshold is at the top of the scale, but He knows that we can come out stronger than we were before in any situation. I also believe that his gift of free will has made it easier for the devil to be at work in our lives + place us in some challenging, life-altering experiences. I don't think that God lets bad things happen to good people; I believe that He knows when to intervene + when to let us figure it out.

All journeys have an origin, a starting point. My faith journey started the way that it should've for any Christian - in the church. I came from a long line of ministers in the family, + from the moment I was born, every Sunday, I was committed to going to church with no questions asked.

Of course, I learned all my books of the Bible, + my father bragged about my biblical knowledge to his friends. I was a little Bible scholar!

I grew up doing everything I was supposed to do; getting involved with church extracurriculars, youth group, helping my mother + father organize church events, host Bible studies at our house, etc.

As I grew into my teenage years, the question of baptism came up a lot in my family. It was expected of me to solidify my status as a Christian, but I never really felt like it was something I needed to hurry to do.

As I grew into a young adult and began to experience more of real life, I became more distant in my faith. My father was the minister of my church, and through years of hypocritic behavior from him, I began to question what being a Christian REALLY meant.

When my father cheated on my mother with an older woman in our church, I saw everything crumble from the inside out. The church was a mess. People felt deceived by my father, + I didn't blame them for that; I blamed him. When my father found out that I was open + honest about the experiences that I've had with him to others in the church - he decided to air my family's dirty laundry out in an email to the 200+ people in my church about his failing marriage + his abusive daughter (me). YIKES.

I was done walking into that building on Sunday mornings. What was the point? I was anxious to be in that place with everyone knowing about our family's inner workings. What was once a perfect family was broken + exposed.

As the years went on, I continued to feel God's presence in my life, but nothing was getting better. Things were getting worse. I had a terrible senior year of high school + after high school I wanted to move far, far away.

In 2019, I got my wish. I made it into Pepperdine University!

I moved out to Malibu, California, and everything seemed brighter. Since Pepperdine is a Christian university in addition to our RA's, Pepperdine also has an SLA (Spiritual Life Advisor). It just so happened that my building's SLA, Lexi, was living right next to me in my suite.

When I had to do a journalism project in the fall of 2019, I interviewed her and asked her a little bit about why she chose to be an SLA. I learned so much about her experience of being a Christian, + it was very similar to mine. She shared some personal things with me that opened my eyes + made me understand that everyone has times where they feel like God has abandoned them.

Lexi + I began to talk more about God after that. She led a lil group study on Wednesday nights that I loved to be apart of. One thing that I loved about this new environment was all of the young, like-minded Christians. I was used to a lot of middle-aged people.

One of the best things that Lexi helped me realize is that God isn't just in the church. He's everywhere. She shared that her most spiritual experiences were usually while surfing. I've always been like that myself. The beach has always been my happy place + somewhere I go to reflect on a lot. It was nice to feel like I wasn't being a "bad" Christian for having a different way of experiencing faith.

I set a goal for myself that fall to be baptized by the end of the spring semester. I felt like I was finally starting to feel ready.

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Now that you're all caught up - we can go back to January 2020, when some strange coincidences began.

I always tell the people I love that they are angels God sent down to watch over + protect me. I genuinely believe that every person we encounter can give us something valuable.

January 25, 2020, was when this theory truly solidified for me.

After a very long night out with friends - I was reluctant to wake up at 8 am to go to a live, sit-down interview with the artist LAUV about his music career. I almost didn't go at all but realized that I probably should since I signed up to (+ they also catered food for us). Literally, in the parking lot getting into my Uber at 9 am, I saw my friends from last night (lookin' like $hit) + they were shocked I was even out of bed, let alone ready to go somewhere for the day!

After the interview, I got invited to a networking event. I was exhausted + wanted to crawl back into bed. After a lot of convincing (+ realizing I wouldn't have to pay for a full-priced Uber if I went back to Malibu later with my friend), I went.

When we got there, we were some of the first people to show up. We went over to the bar, got some drinks, and sat down at a booth. My friend wasn't exactly feeling comfortable in this environment. She was 21 but didn't drink + the grown men there were, of course, being creepy + eyeing us up + down. She sat on her phone while I talked to the guys that were with us. Suddenly she exclaimed that one of her favorite singers, Madison Ryann Ward, was having a garage sale a few minutes away from the bar we were at.

I had never heard of Madison before this moment, but I do love thrifted clothes! We called an Uber because we decided a lil girl's day never hurt anyone! In the car, she played Ward's song, "BRKN," + it gave me the chills. Her voice is truly incredible. Her ability to hit low notes + strong vocals reminds me a lot of Amy Winehouse (RIP angel).

We pulled up to the house next to the perfectly lined palm trees + view of the Hollywood sign from the lawn. The house was so cute + I was so excited to see what treasures I could find! We walked inside + saw a few women walking around looking at Madison's stuff. I started to look through the clothes rack when my friend let out a little squeal as she introduced herself to this beautiful woman wearing a cropped wife-beater tank top, low rise jeans (always been jealous of those girls that could wear those), no makeup, + a beautiful head of short curly hair. Her presence was truly angelic.

My friend introduced herself, + so did I. Madison was so down to earth and sweet. I finished looking through her clothes + grabbed a couple of things off the rack. I sat on the couch in the living room + admired the house. The living room windows were huge and wide open, letting the sunlight filter in. That's when I took the pictures below. I looked on the couch + saw the art, + wondered if Madison made the prints or if they were something she had bought.

Then as I sat back on the couch, I noticed a little painting that said "joy comes in the morning" propped up against the wall on the floor. I picked it up + decided that I wanted it. I went to ask Madison how much it was. She smiled and said,

"I was hoping someone would pick this up."

I asked her if she made it herself + if the other pieces on the couch were hers too. She said yes. She told me that the painting I was holding meant a lot to her + how it references her favorite Psalm. She explained that she made it

during a dark time in her life when she felt that God had abandoned her. She said she hoped someone would notice it so she could pass it onto someone else since she didn't need it anymore. We talked a little more about faith + my career aspirations when she told me that she wanted to give me the painting for free. I insisted that I pay for it, but she wouldn't let me. Madison said that she felt like this moment was supposed to happen + that she felt like she needed to give it to me for free.

My friend + I paid her for the clothes we took home, we had Chick-Fil-A for dinner + then had a lovely drive back to Malibu. I remember driving through Malibu Canyon + seeing one of the most incredible sunsets that day.

Of course, every sunset is stunning in Malibu, but this one felt different. I had a sense of calm washed over me + felt like I had honestly just spoken to a real-life angel. To think that I almost missed out on such a significant experience because I was tired is so crazy.

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The following morning was a Sunday. I saw a missed call from my boyfriend + told him I couldn't talk because I was getting ready for church. Danny joked and said, "Hey, when Jesus calls, you gotta answer, right?"

I got to my church in the city + was in a great mood worshipping that morning. Renew Church's band is incredible (although I have sat too close to the drums before; not a great spot). As we all sat down + got ready for the sermon, a title appeared on the screen. It said, "When Jesus calls, you answer."

I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing! It was like, okay, bring out the cameras because this is a joke.

The pastor delivered the best sermon I had ever heard in my life. It was like God was speaking to me directly through him that Sunday. He told us all that baptism is a celebration + that we need not wait until we feel like we're good enough to accept him into our lives because we will never actually be good enough for Him as human beings.

I left church that day feeling compelled to be baptized. Crazily enough, this was also the tragic day that Kobe + Gianna Bryant died in the helicopter crash right by my school. I found this out while I was out to lunch with some friends after service. As if that was another reminder to me that life indeed was so short + that anything can happen at any moment.

I texted Lexi on the way home asking if I could talk + practically burst into her room when I walked into our suite.

"Yo - I have got some CRAZY stuff to tell you, girl," I remember saying.

I explained my whole weekend to her + told her that I felt like something was happening inside of me. I don't think I had ever been so excited about God before, honestly. She offered to do my baptism, which made me happier than anything. I told her I wanted to do it as soon as possible! I was so ecstatic!

After years of evading the question of when I'm getting baptized, I finally made my choice.

That Wednesday, January 29th, I was baptized. It was everything that I ever wanted it to be + more. I anxiously got into my swimsuit + put on one of the dresses that I bought from Madison. I picked some flowers outside of my dorm building + put them in my hair.

I went down to Malibu Pier with a couple of my close friends. Lexi played some soothing music from her guitar as we all sat on the beach + meditated (if you wanna hear Lexi's lovely guitar playing, it's here). She read Psalm 30, + then we headed into the (freezing) Pacific Ocean to do this thing! I came out of the water to the sound of cheers from my friends, (also other bystanders watching) + they showered me with white bouquets. The sun began to set as we took pictures + rejoiced with each other.

Thank you, Madison, + thank you, Jesus.

What used to be just another verse in the Bible now represents my renewed + enhanced faith, which I believe is how David wanted Psalm 30 to be interpreted. Even if you're not religious David is such a talented writer + I really do urge you to read this short Psalm if you haven't already.

I’m sure some of you are struggling with faith right now - with whatever it is that you believe in. But for now, take a step back, take a deep breath + realize that your time will come. You WILL figure things out, + your life will take you in whatever direction necessary to get you to

that point.

Remember that although there may be weeping throughout the night, joy will come in the morning.

Yours Truly,

Alex