Who the f*ck is Mac Miller?
- Alexandra Leigh
- Jun 11, 2022
- 18 min read
If you know me, you probably know that Mac Miller is one of my favorite, if not my favorite, artists. I'd be lying if I said I'd been a Mac Miller fan since day one, but I have been a fan of his for quite a while. The first song I heard of his was "Donald Trump" from his 2011 album, Best Day Ever in 2012 ~ my freshman year of high school. After that, I didn't explore his discography until I heard "The Spins" from the mixtape K.I.D.S. the following year. That's the song that started my love for his music.
This post started as me wanting to simply break down what his life + career means to me, but I quickly realized... this isn't so simple. This man's life was so incredible. He did so much in just a short time; there's a LOT to say! That being said, I tried to keep this post as short as possible... but it's still pretty long.
I could list the entirety of his achievements (including a key to the city of Pittsburgh from the mayor!), but I want to focus on the power of his self-expression through his music + the songs that have impacted me the most (I still cut some of them out in an attempt not to bore you all with too many words). So get comfy + maybe even put on my "92 til infinity" playlist while you read! (Spotify users only; sorry, not sorry)
Malcolm James McCormick was a Pittsburgh, PA native + self-taught musician who could play the piano, guitar, drums, + bass by age 6. He started rapping at the age of 14. His first alias was Easy (or EZ) Mac, + he released a mixtape under the name, But My Mackin' Ain't Easy, one year later. After that, he independently released a few other mixtapes + by 2009 ~ Malcolm officially became Mac Miller.
Mac Miller signed with indie label Rostrum Records at age 18 in 2010. He released his mixtape, K.I.D.S. (Kickin' Incredibly Dope Shit), later that year in August. This is arguably the mixtape that propelled his fame, + songs like "Nikes On My Feet", "Senior Skip Day", "The Spins," + "Kool Aid & Frozen Pizza" are some of his fans most-loved songs to this day. I also love "Don't Mind If I Do" which is Mac rapping over the song, "Fireflies" by Owl City. (More about this mixtape later)
Next comes a pretty underrated mixtape, I Love Life, Thank You, in October 2011, self-released. My favorites from this one are "People Under The Stairs", "The Scoop On Heaven" (*ugh*), "Love Lost," + "All That". "Love Lost" is super cool because it's him rapping over an indie/alt. song I like "Love Lost" by The Temper Trap. I think that's one of the things I appreciate about Malcolm; his eclectic taste in music.
Mac's debut album with Rostrum Records, Blue Slide Park, was released in November 2011. It was certified gold in both the US + Canada. Some of my favorites from this album are "Frick Park Market", "Of The Soul", "Smile Back," + "Missed Calls". His brother, Miller, was the one who designed the album cover, + the title was inspired by a local park in Pittsburgh he grew up going to. It's now a site his fans dedicated as a memorial to him.
Next, in March 2012, we have Mac's mixtape, Macadelic, which has two of my favorite songs, "Loud" + "Thoughts from a Balcony". This mixtape has some impressive artists featured like Kendrick Lamar, Lil Wayne, + Joey Bada$$. Malcolm was in a pretty dark place at the time, dealing with a codeine addiction + depressive thoughts.
We're gonna take a break from Mac for a second + talk about Malcolm's other aliases that appeared after Mac Miller. First, we have Larry Dollaz, which seems to have not lasted very long (from what I know). He produced a song, "Someone Like You" released on Soundcloud in August 2012. The vocals are slowed down giving the song a "trippy" feel. It was later re-released on the album Watching Movies with the Sound Off with a faster tempo and less of a choppy feel. He also produced a song called "PlaneCarBoat" under this alias featuring his good friend, ScHoolBoy Q, in September 2012.
Malcolm then transformed into Larry Lovestein & The Velvet Revival. I say ~transformed~ because this alias introduced us to Malcolm's softer, jazzy side, utterly different from anything he released prior. You, the 5-track EP, was released in November 2012 through his label, REMember Music. He even made a Twitter account for this pseudonym. So I encourage you to take "A Moment 4 Jazz" (see what I did there? hehe) + go listen to this EP if you haven't before.
Another alias, Larry Fisherman, was introduced in March 2013. This pseudonym was his Instagram handle at one point. He released the beat tape, Run on Sentences vol. 1, followed by vol. 2 in 2015. The beat tapes encompassed more instrumentals + short voice samples rather than actual lyrics. Then, Larry Fisherman entirely produced the Stolen Youth mixtape with Vince Staples in June 2013. These projects encouraged the idea that Malcolm was not "just a rapper"; he was a multi-faceted artist. Later that year, in November, Larry Fisherman released his first solo mixtape, Delusional Thomas.
But was it really a ~solo~ mixtape if there were three different versions of Malcolm on it?
It featured Delusional Thomas - the main character / Malcolm's seemingly "evil" alter ego (remember those little devils on people's shoulders in cartoons?), Larry Fisherman - the producer, + even a "guest feature" from Mac Miller. Delusional Thomas' character raps about some pretty dark stuff in a high-pitched, distorted voice.
Drew Millard, a writer for VICE, interviewed Malcolm about the mixtape. The article is called "The Voices in Mac Miller's Head". Millard asked Malcolm about Delusional Thomas' backstory, to which he replied, "I just feel like everyone has that shit in them. It’s actually been therapeutic. It felt so good to go in and just fuckin’ talk about the sadistic urges that everybody else has but doesn’t want to say."
We also get some insight into why Malcolm created these different pseudonyms in this interview.
"I don’t want to limit myself to not doing anything, whether it’s the grittiest of the gritty or the cleanest of pop. I want to try and be able to be great at all of those... We’re all complex and we’re all made up of more than one dimension. And the thing about this place that art lives in is that people get these labels," Malcolm said. "You brand yourself and have to stick to one brand, which I fucking hate. Like, human beings are more complex than just one simple brand."
Okay, so now we're back to Mac Miller + Rostrum Records. Hard to keep all his identities straight, right? Mac's 2nd studio album, Watching Movies with the Sound Off was released in June 2013. This one takes a deep dive into his substance abuse issues + the concept of mortality. My favorite songs are "Watching Movies", "Remember", "Aquarium", + "Youforia". In an interview with OFIVE TV about this album, Malcolm compares his art to one of my favorite painters, Dalí. Malcolm says that his art could be anything. "You could look at it in a million different ways, but it’s surrealism," he said. "It’s a Salvador Dalí painting. It’s, uh, it’s throw a bunch of stuff on a canvas and see what happens."
Mac's contract with Rostrum Records ended early in 2014. In May, he independently released his 11th mixtape, Faces, on Youtube for free streaming. Faces is not one of my favorite works by Mac (it seems to be everyone else's favorite), but it's such an important project in his life + career. Larry Fisherman mainly produced it. I like a few songs from the mixtape, including "Malibu", "Therapy", "Colors and Shapes", "Insomniak", + "Grand Finale".
Remember how I mentioned Malcolm was a self-taught musician? Rick Ross himself endorsed this on "Insomniak" with the lyric, "he's self-made, Mac Miller my real n*gga," which is pretty freakin' sick if you ask me.
In a People article written by Joelle Goldstein, Malcolm admits to having suicidal thoughts during this time in his life. He said, "'That was the plan with Faces: [Closing song] 'Grand Finale' was supposed to be the last song I made on earth,' Miller explained. 'I don't feel that way as much anymore.'"
In late 2014, Mac signed a contract with Warner Records at 22 years old. In September 2015, he released his first major-label debut with Warner Records / REMember Music, with his 3rd studio album ~ GO:OD AM. Two weeks before its release, Mac released an alarm clock app that played excerpts from the album. Fun fact: there was also a "Breakfast Special Edition" of the LP fans could purchase that came with a cereal box, cereal, a bowl, a spoon, CD, + a fun lil placemat with album listening instructions.
Critics raved about Mac's new album. An Allmusic album review by David Jeffries says, "Getting sober and ridding himself of depression are topics that GO:OD AM touches upon, but rather than his past, the 'show and prove' Miller is driven by his rebirth on an interesting and infectious LP that's also his strongest to date." The entire album + its song, "Weekend," with Miguel, were certified gold + platinum by the RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America).
This album encompasses a lot of variety, both lyrically + rhythmically. Overall, the album focuses on the themes of drugs, love, + fame. The second track on the album, "Brand Name," has a spine-chilling line given Malcolm's death. "To everyone that sells me drugs, don't mix it with that bullshit I'm hoping not to join the 27 club". This is a reference to the cultural phenomenon of celebrities like Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse, + Kurt Cobain, who all died at the age of 27. Malcolm ultimately did not join the "27 club"; he died at the age of 26 at his home in Studio City from an accidental overdose. Thankfully, we recently saw some justice served to the dealers who sold him the drugs laced with fentanyl. Although, no amount of justice can replace a life.
Another song + its haunting lyrics I want to talk about from this album is "Perfect Circle / Godspeed". This song seems to serve as a "wake up call" for Malcolm + his destructive behaviors. The song stops in the middle to play a recording of a voicemail left by his brother Miller. After the voicemail, Mac says he needs to "man up admit that it's a problem, I need a wake-up before one morning I don't wake up".
He concludes the song with the line,
"Opened up my eyes, shit, I'm finally awake, good morning, yeah good morning."
*~ugh~*
A quick honorable mention for "When in Rome", one of my all-time favorites of Mac's, which shows off his excellent flow + rap skills.
The last song on this album I want to mention is one of my absolute favorite Mac Miller songs; "ROS". It's an incredible song with soulful lyrics + a sexy, jazzy vibe. An ex-boyfriend + I once deemed this "our song". I remember him giving me a huge bouquet one day + telling me to put on "ROS" while I looked at the flowers. Usually, I have a hard time listening to songs associated with people no longer in my life, but thankfully this one hasn't left that sour taste. I guess I like thinking about how enchanting the lyrics are + remembering that someone once thought I was special enough to compare to this irresistible woman Malcolm sang about. I think it's important to remember those moments were still filled with love, even if the relationship no longer exists.
The song's title is an acronym for "rain or shine," ~ a phrase tattooed on both him + his high school sweetheart, Nomi Leasure. She's the girl who likes her vodka with a little touch of lime. Nomi is also a biracial woman with a blog (although I am nowhere near the writer she is, lol). After reading some of her posts, I thought it was so cool to "meet" the incredible, talented woman who inspired "ROS" + countless other songs Malcolm created. She's a badass woman, + I encourage you to explore her work yourself at www.peek-mag.com.
I only recently discovered the depths of Nomi + Malcolm's relationship while writing this post, actually. Nomi wrote for years about her + Malcolm's relationship ~ beginning on Tumblr (remember those days?) in 2011. Malcolm was the one who encouraged her to make her blog public, which she did in 2012. She posted the conversation between them that influenced her to do it here.
Their 8-year romantic relationship ended in 2016 after living together in an NYC apartment. After their breakup, Nomi created an anthology on Peek Mag called "The Art of Healing", featuring six posts.
In the summer of 2018, Malcolm + Nomi met up in New York after not seeing each other for two years. She wrote about their meeting in her post, "The Art of Healing Part V: Return". It's heartbreaking to read this, especially considering neither of them knew it would be the last time they saw each other. She didn't even know this when she posted the piece just ten days before his death. But God, it's so beautiful to see how two extraordinary people inspired each other + fueled one another's art.
Her final piece in this collection, "The Art of Healing Part VI: Lay to Rest", was written just a few months ago, in February 2022. Toward the end, she wrote, "I had built a sense of truth rooted in one infallible fact: That I was to always be loved by you. And so the love stays."
There have been a ~lot~ of tears shed while creating this post. What's a few more?
Alright, back to Mac again + another one of my favorite projects ~ his 4th studio album, The Divine Feminine. Malcolm went to work straight away after GO:OD AM's release + this album was released in September 2016.
In an interview with Vogue written by Patricia Garcia on September 27, 2016, Malcolm embraced his 88 days of sobriety. It appears GO:OD AM gave him the wake-up call he so desperately wanted. In the interview, he explained that The Divine Feminine was originally a 5-song EP, but he was captivated by exploring this new emotion, thus giving us the completed 10-track album we know + love. He said, "'love is the coolest thing that there is.' ... 'I've always loved that discussion: What does love do to someone?'"
In an interview with John Norris for Billboard, Malcolm explains how the main inspiration for this album was the earth. He said, "'A lot of this record is about the energy surrounding this planet. It's a feminine one - Mother Earth. We need to hold that up as something sacred.'" He said this album has a "happy ending," unlike his others. "'A lot of it was inspired just by the universe, the story of love, and the emotion of love, how love affects me is different now,' Miller said. 'You see it in the ending of the record.'"
The catalysts for this album evidently came from various aspects + women in Malcolm's life. Nomi often blogged about female empowerment + the concept of the "sacred feminine". This album portrays the highs + lows of their relationship with songs like "Dang!" + its repetitive lyric, "I can't keep on losing you".
The song "Congratulations", which kicks off the album, alludes to his + Nomi's relationship when he says he bought a wedding ring + reminisces on their relationship before he was famous. He also mentions the apartment they shared.
People often think the album is about Ariana Grande, but it seems that the only song about her was "Cinderella" (also one of my all-time favorites). Ariana confirmed this in a reply tweet after a fan blamed her for dumping Malcolm after he "poured his heart out on a ten song album to her".
One of the best songs on this album is the last track, "God Is Fair, Sexy Nasty". It's an amazing song featuring Kendrick Lamar, + it closed out the album with a 3-minute recording of Malcolm's grandmother talking about her + her late husband's relationship. Malcolm calls it "'a true actual love story; a real one that I've cried listening to.'" He said that his grandfather would not go to bed every night until he told his grandmother that he loved her. "'That's what I've chased my whole entire life. That's what I want,'" (Garcia, 2016).
The Divine Feminine holds a special place in my heart. I got to see him on that tour, + I am forever thankful for that opportunity. His energy on stage was absolutely incredible, + I remember him being so openly grateful to perform for us.
Here is my favorite picture I took of him from that night:
The show was on December 12, 2016, in NYC at one of my favorite concert venues, Terminal 5. I remember going to my next show there a few years later + couldn't help but think about how the last time I was there was when I saw Mac. I hoped to see him on another tour, but it never happened. I didn't take that many pictures or videos that night (rare for me not to have photos from a show) because I truly lived in one of my favorite moments. His energy was genuinely magic. I wish I had more pictures from that night; even the blurry ones I deleted right after would have been nice to have now. Either way, I'm so lucky to have seen him live + heard my favorite songs sung by him, + the echoes of everyone around me singing along.
This next song I want to mention is a single, + it's one of my favorite songs by Mac. The beat on this one is fantastic. "Programs" was released on May 28, 2018. The line, "Im always goin' overboard I better swim before I drown," gave us a lil sneak preview of his next album. Another single, "Buttons," dropped a day later on the 29th.
Then we have Mac's 5th studio album, Swimming, released in August 2018 ~ just one month before his tragic passing. This 13-track album is indeed something special. I genuinely love every song. I remember everyone talking about it when it came out; no one had anything bad to say.
Swimming begins with "Come Back To Earth". Its slow, melodic tone comforts the overthinkers of the world (guilty) with lyrics like “In my own way, I feel like living some alternate reality / And I was drowning, but now I'm swimming through stressful waters to relief.”
My next favorite from the album is one you probably know, "Self Care". Malcolm's optimism poured out with lyrics emphasizing the need to take things slow + be patient when it comes to finding inner peace.
The song "Wings"... does something to me. Like, I seriously cannot listen to that song without crying (I will literally skip if I'm in public, lol). But, this song is THE track, emphasizing that he was healing + was excited for what's to come while appreciating where he was.
Then we have "2009," where Mac is reminiscing on life, digging into lessons he's learned since the beginning of his career to where he was in 2018. My favorite lyric in this one is, "I struck the fuck out, and then I came back swingin' take my time to finish, mind my business a life ain't a life 'til you live it". In an article on DJBooth by Donna-Claire Chesman, Malcolm's producer says he freestyled most of this song, which is so impressive. "Every day I wake up and breathe / I don't have it all, but that's alright with me," he sang.
Lastly, on Swimming, we have "So It Goes". In an analysis of the song on Genius, the phrase "So it goes" references Kurt Vonnegut's 1969 novel, Slaughterhouse-Five. The phrase appears after any death is described in the book. This song feels like an acceptance piece, like he was finally willing to take things as they come. I haven't read Slaughterhouse-Five, but I have read The Sirens of Titan and can confirm the beat on this one sounds like a Vonnegut novel; it's trippy and definitely has an "otherworldly" feel. It's fitting, considering Malcolm's last Instagram story was a vinyl playing this song the day before he died on September 7, 2018.
In what appears to be Malcolm's final tweet at 1 am on September 7, he tweeted, "the end of so it goes is so beautiful man I told Jon Brion to play the ascension into heaven and he nailed it". It almost makes the song more comforting when you think about the end like this... but also that much more depressing. Sudden deaths aren't fair. They don't make sense. We all thought that was the end of Mac Miller, but spoiler alert ~ it wasn't.
On January 8, 2020, we got a special surprise. Malcolm's family posted on his Instagram account that he was working on a companion album to Swimming called Circles before his passing. "Swimming in circles" was the concept of the two albums side by side, composed of two different styles complimenting each other, completing a circle as the post described. The post ends with, "We are left to imagine where Malcolm was going and to appreciate where he was. We hope you take the time to listen. The look on his face when everyone was listening said it all."
Nine days later, we were gifted with Mac Miller's posthumous album. I was at school in Malibu when the album was released. I remember listening to it on one of my favorite beaches, + respectfully ~ crying my eyes out.
A Vulture album review by Craig Jenkins describes Circles as "overcast with a chance of sunshine, both the storm and the ray of light that eventually cracks through the gray sky. You have to deny frequent and poignant moments of uplift in order to call it purely sad; its silver lining comes at the cost of a lot of cloud cover". Jenkins describes Malcolm as a "...poet who made the most of 26 years between heaven and hell, a stargazer who did his best to stay grounded until the clouds came calling."
In an "as told to" style Vulture article also authored by Craig Jenkins, he interviews producer Jon Brion about his task ~ delegated by Malcolm's family ~ of finishing Malcolm's final album. Jon said that most of the work was already done for him; his main job was getting people to hear it.
Malcolm played most of the material for both Swimming + Circles for Jon before his passing, but Jon found four new songs he hadn't heard before.
"The cover of Arthur Lee’s 'Everybody’s Gotta Live' was one. 'Blue World' was another. 'I Can See' … I was incredibly impressed. The lyrics are so good, and I thought it was musically so good. The batch of stuff that became Circles were the things I liked the most and things I heard that had, frankly, little to do with me. I just heard them and was moved by them. 'I Can See' is the perfect example. It made me so sad he was gone. It’s one of those moments, like, Oh my God, he’s even better than I thought. And I already thought the world of him," Jon said.
Malcolm was experimenting with different sounds than he had previously done before. Jon said Malcolm was "ready to lean into the soulful singer-songwriter vibes of songs like 'Come Back to Earth' and 'Soulmate' for the length of an entire album...". He described Malcolm as a humble human who "...was better at all of these tasks than he seemed to think he was... He was a real writer, and any time he wrote something, he hoped it would have an effect, that someone would hear it and understand. He certainly saw all of it as a body of work." (Jenkins, 2020).
In October 2019, "The Mac Miller Fund" was created by Malcolm's parents, Karen Meyers + Mark McCormick. According to the fund's website, its goal is "To carry on Miller's artistic and creative legacy, The Mac Miller Fund supports programming, resources and opportunities to youth from underserved communities, helping them recognize their full potential through exploration in the arts and community building. Additionally, the fund may support organizations that identify and address the problems of substance abuse in the music industry and that directly assist youth aged 27 and under with all stages of addiction-recovery treatment and post-treatment services."
Ten years after the K.I.D.S original release in August 2020 ~ K.I.D.S. (Deluxe) was released with two new songs, "Ayye" + "Back In The Day". "Ayye" is now one of my favorites by Mac; a nostalgic look at where he was in 2010 with his slightly high-pitched 18-year-old voice + lyrics like, "hate me or love me chase dreams, ain't worried 'bout money" + "I don't got nothin' like a plan B, just go and cop a crib in Miami / Get a Grammy and an Oscar 'cause mother always said, act proper".
*UGH*.
You deserved a Grammy.
In September 2021, a music video for "Colors and Shapes" was released starring Malcolm's dog, Ralphie, who went missing years ago. Ralphie is tumbling through different scenes in a Salvador Dalí-dreamscape-style video, + it's so cool to see Malcolm's music come to life in this way. Remember when he compared his art to Dalís? I think both of them would've loved this video. I highly recommend watching it.
Another surprise gift came when Faces was finally released on streaming platforms in October 2021. Even better? It came with one last incredible song for us to hear. "Yeah - bonus" was not included in the original mixtape. In 2019, the song was leaked under the title "8:21 am", but it was removed from the internet. The track reappeared with its new name + opening lyrics, "when will we die? This life isn't fair". The song is evidently about Malcolm's existential dread + feelings that he may be wasting his life.
We promise, Malcolm; you didn't.
On September 7, 2019, ~ the first anniversary of Malcolm's death, a friend asked if I wanted to visit a memorial site for him in DTLA. We met a couple of fans there laying flowers, leaving old concert tickets + candles. We talked about our favorite songs, how he inspired us, + even listened to a couple of songs together. It was so special. Here are some pictures from that day:
Maybe it's strange to be so passionate about someone I've never met, but I'm not so sure. Because that's the thing about Malcolm; he made it feel like we all knew him. He gave his art everything he had + openly discussed things about himself most people might not want the world to know. He was so brave.
Malcolm was there for many big moments (+ a few boys) in my life. He was even playing in the background the first time I "broke up" with a guy (we dated for like three weeks, lol). The same guy who told me his favorite song of Mac's was "Youforia" (which I had never listened to before) + took me on the back of his motorcycle to yoga class. He always did think I liked the bike more than him... guess he was right after all.
Malcolm often talked in interviews about the importance of the creating process. He said that what you create is more for you than anyone else. So it shouldn't matter how people perceive it ~ it matters that you are being authentic. This is one of the things that inspires me to write.
So, thank you, Malcolm.
Thank you for your infectious creativity, being a source of light, + inspiring us to keep swimming when the waves get rough.
Rest in peace, angel.
Yours Truly,
Alex
P.S. If you or someone you love struggles with substance abuse, please call the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) hotline at 1-800-662-4357 for 24/7 assistance. I am also more than happy to serve as a listening ear + do what I can to help.
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